I'll never hate you
by hazeleyedharmony
Summary: Random little story no it's not fluff, never fluff anyways, have you ever wondered what happened when Kouichi met the rest of the group? if you said yes this is the story for you. if you said no, well read it anyway!


_Author's note: Caio! So i've been thinking about the first meeting between Kouichi and the others and the series never mentioned anything about it so here's my interpritation of it. i didn't mean for it to be a Kouichi/Zoe story at first but oh well i think it works. so it takes place in episode 33 and before 34. ENJOY!!_

_Calmarsi- calm down (in italian)_

**DISCLAIMER: blah blah blah normal disclaimer stuff blah blah**

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"Took you guys long enough, where were you?" Takuya yelled, running up to the approaching Trailmon. Kouji smiled up at his friends and made his way towards them before looking back at Kouichi who was shifting uncomfortably staring at the ground below him. Kouichi hadn't prepared himself for the rest of them. He obviously knew they existed but once he saw them as real people his guilt would increase at least ten-fold.

"Well excuse us for not wanting to wait around while you two have all the fun," J.P. sighed sarcastically. When his eyes fell on Kouichi, whose focus was still on the ground, he gave Takuya and Kouji a look of utter confusion.

"Oh, so you know Duskmon?" Takuya asked uneasily while rubbing the back of his head. The three exchanged confused glances and silently urged him to continue.

"Well good news is he was defeated and better news, he's actually Kouji's twin brother." Takuya chuckled. Tommy had a look on his face as though he was trying to figure out a complex math problem while J.P. looked as though he had just been punched in the stomach; Zoe on the other hand was beaming at the new boy.

"I don't believe it," J.P. whispered glancing from Kouichi to the others, hoping that they were as baffled as he was.

"J.P. we're in a world made out of data and we can turn into digimon. And you're telling me that of all things this is what you choose not to believe." Zoe said walking up to Kouichi. "I'm Zoe Orimoto."

Kouichi was amazed by the girl's friendliness. Half of him wanted her to hate him, that's what he thought he deserved. "Kouichi," he muttered, dropping his gaze.

"The little one's Tommy and he's J.P" Zoe said pointing to the two who still looked a little uneasy.

"So now what?" J.P. said after a brief, uncomfortable silence.

"Now we head to the Rose Morning Star and fight." Takuya said pumping his fist in the air. The others, sans Kouichi, gave him half amused half worried looks. "Well, I'm excited." he said dejectedly

"Oh joy, come on let's get this over with." J.P. said leading the group onto Angler. After almost a half hour on the train it suddenly came to a screeching halt.

"What's up?" J.P. said after being thrown from his seat. "He could have given us some warning."

"Who knows, let's go find out. Come on guys," Takuya said motioning for the group to follow. He turned back at Kouichi who hadn't lifted his head since boarding the train. "You coming?" Takuya called. Kouichi looked up slightly startled and shook his head.

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"The big baby's just hungry," Bokomon said, coming from the front of the train.

"Here Bokomon give him some of this, it'll shut him up." J.P. said, pulling a bar of chocolate from his pocket.

"How many of those do you have?" Takuya asked almost disgusted. J.P. just narrowed his eyes and folded his arms.

"I really feel bad for Kouji and his brother isn't there anything we can do to help them get along," Tommy said weakly, turning the others' attention away from the impending argument.

"I say leave them alone," J.P. said turning away in a slightly bored tone.

"Well that's real helpful J.P," Zoe said looking almost offended.

J.P shifted a little under Zoe's gaze before responding. "I just think their problem is a private one and out of respect we should keep our noses out of it they'll eventually work it out if we just give them time."

"Well out of respect I need to do something…now," Takuya said, marching over to the small building Kouji had went into.

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"Thanks you guys, oddly enough I think that helped." Kouji said smiling up at his friends who were looking pleased with themselves.

"Anytime. We're here for you, just like we always have been and always will be." Takuya said slapping Kouji on the back.

"Ok enough with this touchy-feely crap. Let's go to Ophanimon already." J.P. laughed in mock irritation.

"I'll be right there, I forgot something," Zoe said as she began to run towards the other side of the train.

"Come on we don't have time for this" Takuya sighed impatiently as the rest began to re-board Angler.

"Don't worry I'll be on the train," Zoe said in a voice that clearly implied she was up to something.

"Fine but we're leaving now so you better be." Takuya said as he began to shut the door.

"Calmarsi, I'll be on I swear." Zoe yelled over her shoulder as she disappeared from view. Takuya just shook his head and made his way to tell Angler they were ready to go.

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"Kouichi?" Zoe asked her voice near a whisper as she peered her head into the compartment. She had boarded at the other end of the train so the others didn't know she was talking to him. She didn't think that they would mind she just wanted to talk to him without the others making him nervous. Kouichi didn't lift his head at the new voice instead he continued to stare at the floor tiles. Because he didn't immediately tell her to leave Zoe gained a slight confidence and entered the compartment, shutting the door behind her and sat down casually next to him.

"Why don't you hate me?" Kouichi finally asked after the uncomfortable silence lasted longer than he would have liked.

"Why should I hate you?" she countered her voice implying that he was crazy for asking such a question. Kouichi finally raised his head and stared at the girl in disbelief.

"I tried, I tried to kill you," he said, his voice cracking slightly and again he dropped his gaze. "I even hate me." The truth of his statement hit him with such a force that even he didn't expect; and he broke down.

He sat there fists clenched, head bowed allowing every agonizing detail to consume him. Every scream, every threat, he relieved only this time his human side was in control. The pain that he had caused them he could now feel and it was too much for him to handle. He just wanted it all to go away. It scared him to know that he was capable of such destruction.

"I'll never hate you" She whispered grabbing his hand and squeezing it slightly, in an attempt to comfort him. He stared in shock at their hands. How could someone that he had, on multiple occasions, tried to murder be so kind? It scared him. A lot.

"You don't know me" He muttered, pulling his hand away from her and cradling his head in his hands.

"Then let me" she said pulling his hands from his face. He was astounded. Had she completely forgotten about the past weeks?

"But I tried to destroy you" he repeated hoarsely.

"Stop saying that. You didn't, Duskmon did" She said softly. She just wanted him to believe her; she didn't feel that he deserved this kind of pain.

"I am Duskmon" he said, turning away from her. He didn't want her to see the tears forming in his eyes. Zoe could tell by the tone of his voice that he was giving up, well more than he already had.

"Listen to me, you never had control over what happened and you know that. Why won't you accept it?" she was pleading with him now. Though she had only met him a short while earlier she hated seeing him in so much agony.

"Because it's not true. I was controlled because there was and I guess, is darkness in my heart. I let that consume me. I could have stopped it but I didn't." he said squeezing his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to block out his memories. Zoe stared at him sympathetically, she didn't mean to cause him this much pain so she dropped the subject and the two sat in silence once again.

"Zoe?" Kouichi mumbled after a while. Zoe turned to him and smiled warmly.

"Yeah?" she said raising her eyebrow. She was glad that Kouichi had calmed down and was still willing to talk to her.

"Why do you care so much?" He asked twisting his hands. It wasn't that he thought she had a hidden motive, he just didn't understand how she could be so compassionate.

"What do you mean?" she asked casually turning away from him.

"Well, why aren't you with everyone else? Shouldn't you be preparing for Cherubimon?" he asked, a hint of regret in his voice when he mentioned Cherubimon.

"Oh they don't need me, besides I'd rather be here." she said dismissively, smiling at him again.

"You'd rather be here? I highly doubt that." he chuckled. He couldn't help but to begin to warm up to the blonde.

"Well I've spent the past months with them; it's good to talk to someone new." She giggled, pleased with herself that she had made him laugh.

"I'm not the best person to talk to," he said, dropping his gaze again.

"Really? I think you'd be an awesome person to talk to. But then again you won't let me try." she said accusingly.

"Why do you want to?" he whispered, shaking his head.

"Why won't you trust me?" she sighed, slightly defeated. She just desperately wanted for him to open up to her, to anyone.

"Why won't you answer my questions?" He said a little shocked by her response.

"I've answered some. Like why I'm here." She said defensively, thinking that she was annoying him.

"I think you should go back to the others." he sighed sadly. He was sure by now the others were worried and he didn't want that.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to get to know you" Zoe said a little defeated. She stood and made her way towards the door, her head hanging slightly. She had a feeling that her attempt to befriend him had failed miserably and he now hated her.

"Don't be sorry. I really appreciate it. I just think it'd be best for you to go back to your friends." he smiled sincerely at her for the first time in what felt like a lifetime to him.

"Well then come with me" she said happily, turning to him and pulling him into a standing position.

"Maybe later, I just need to think about things." he sighed, pulling gently out of her grip and sitting back down.

"Ok, I'll be back soon." She said walking out of the compartment and shutting the door.

"Thank you." he whispered at the closed door, smiling ever so slightly.

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"You did amazing out there" Zoe said to Kouichi once he had returned to his human form and the group had begun to make their way on foot to Ophanimon's castle.

"I can't do this" He muttered weakly staring at his D-Tector, the images of Lowemon and JagerLowemon flashing on the screen.

"What do you mean? You were awesome" Zoe asked confused. She had just saw a fight against one of the Celestial Digimon, ok it was a copy but still, and here she was talking to the victor who was doubting himself.

"I can't have all this power. Did you see what I'm capable of?" he said in an almost disgusted voice which, along with his hands, was shaking. He was terrified that he was, yet again, capable of causing such destruction.

"Of course I did. Why is that a problem?" Zoe asked genuinely concerned. He sighed and told her of all his fears. She was pleased, if not a little shocked, that he was opening up to her like this. However she wasn't nearly as shocked as he was by his own confession. He had never once opened up to anyone that easily.

"I just don't want to hurt anyone, especially you" he finished sorrowfully, his voice dropping slightly as he calmed himself.

"You'll never hurt me," Zoe said, placing her arm around his shoulder comfortingly.

"I already have. And I don't trust myself not to do it again." He sighed, clutching his D-Tector tightly his eyes full of regret.

"Kouichi, you wouldn't have been given the spirits if you couldn't control them. They were meant for you. You'll do good things." Zoe reassured him. He was entranced by her optimism and he couldn't help but to smile at her.

"Now I'm afraid I'm going to let you down." he chuckled, placing his D-Tector into his pocket.

"Please believe in yourself like I believe in you" she said grabbing his hand and squeezing it.

"I'll try." Kouichi whispered as Zoe slowed her pace and joined up with J.P. and Tommy.

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_AUTHOR'S NOTE: did you like it? i think it's the best i've done so far. i think i write these almost sad stories better than action ones oh well. oh, i'm still working on the image song stories but those are pretty hard to write but expect another one soon. but don't be surprised if i do another random story first._


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